I came to my spirituality in an around about way because I never really understood I had a spiritual side until I met Beth. I met Beth in search of sexuality. I found sexuality in my search for kink.
You see I have always been kinky and this I fully understood, although through out my life it has been a carefully guarded secret. As early as elementary school I knew that feet were sexy, I just didn’t understand it. It became obvious in high school that when the other guys were hooting and carrying on about the big boobs a girl had in gym class I had been mesmerized by the fact that she and the other girls were all barefoot. To remark about a girls pretty feet was to invite teasing and ridicule not only from other guys but even from girls. A common remark was “do you have a foot fetish”? It has taken me nearly fifty years to learn to say yes, I do and that feet are indeed sexy. I have also leaned that one doesn’t need to understand it, just enjoy it. Also as a young man I found almost any movie that had a woman in bondage to be extremely sexy. I loved the Hammer horror movies with their blend of horror and sex. In my forties I became fascinated with bondage magazines, which to my delight featured barefoot bondage. I also read the books the Sex Life of the Foot and Shoe by Dr. William Rossi and Different Loving, by Gloria Brame, William Brame and Jon Jacobs. These books explained my kinks and many others of which I was unaware. There was a whole new and exciting world out there just waiting.
After a failed 30-year marriage and in my fifties, I felt it was time to start exploring the world of kink. At work, a close friend dared me to join Black Rose, a Washington based BDSM educational society. Since I had been toying with the idea for months, I joined and then decided to go for one day to their big event, BR XXVII. I walked in cold not knowing anyone there and was to get an education of a lifetime from the classes I took that day and the time I spent in the dungeon that night. I learned immediately that everything I had learned about BDSM from TV and movies was wrong. Now the trick was to really learn what is was about. At BR XXVII two things happened that would forever change my life and, reflecting back, they happened as if I were being guided by something spiritual.
The first was taking a class that featured foot massage by Whittney Mattlock. Later that day in the vending area I saw him doing table massage and next to him was an interesting lady doing seated massage. I went over to him and spoke to him telling him I didn’t know how things worked; that in class I should have found a lady and offered to massage her feet as Whittney gave instructions. His answer, “of course you should have”! The lady heard the exchange, I waited for a while to speak to her but she was busy so we did not meet or see each other again that weekend.
The second was being greeted in the vendor area, by of all people, a member of my high school graduating class of ’67. He was there with two pro-doms and they offered me a scene in the dungeon that evening. Being new and not knowing anyone, I had been cautioned to not expect to be able to play. Well I went to the dungeon and watched these two sexy ladies work over a couple of guys and wondered if I could take it. The dungeon had several hundred people in it, many of whom where naked. When asked if I wanted to play, I thought for about 2 seconds before saying yes and then got naked. This was my first public nudity. The experience was exhilarating. I knew I had to do and learn more.
I began attending the Black Rose Tuesday night workshops and quickly learned of a New Years Eve party being put on by the Crucible, Washington DC’s only BDSM club. I went and had a great time at the two-day party. Just after midnight I was at the Waxman’s table. It seems at I had bought a woman at auction who in turn had bought a wax session at the same auction from the Waxman. I went over to see her get naked for her waxing and ran into a lady I had met briefly earlier that evening. Once we got to talking, it became evident that we had met at BR XVII. She remembered what I had said to Whittney in the vendor area since she had been doing seated massage next to him. Of course this was Beth and that was our true meeting. We spent the rest of the weekend together and many more after that. Oh, in case you are wondering, I totally forgot about playing with lady I had bought at auction. Twenty minutes after meeting, Beth was naked on the Waxman’s table. Where else could this happen? At the next New Year’s Eve party by the Crucible we were engaged. The next year we were married.
Once I had been fully immersed in my kink and had found a whole world of sexuality to explore, Beth led me on another journey. Through Beth I became aware of pagan spirituality through the Circle of Dark Eros or the CODE Coven. I assisted her as she presented a course on Psychic Development at Beltane that spring. She did what was for me some very woo-woo things. She did animal communication, hypnosis and divination. She was also very learned in mathematics and medical areas. This was hard at first for me, though I kept an open mind. I had done my undergraduate work in Physics and had a Masters in computer science. I served in the Army during the waning days of Vietnam as a technician at the Night Vision Laboratory. I have worked in the conservative DOD for some 30 years as both government and as a contractor. It is something of a joke when people refer to me as a rocket scientist, but I find it amusing. That’s the problem why he didn’t understand it; it isn’t rocket science! Oh?
With Beth’s guidance and faith in me I have learned to trust my intuition and have begun my exploration of my spirituality. It is a journey that has just begun, but I have had wonderful teachers. From the workshops of Beltane, Dark Odyssey, Black Rose and the Kindlers Coven I have had the best of teachers, the best in the country as far as I know. Two in particular that have made a lasting impact is Barbara Carrellas and her many workshops we have attended and Whittney Mattlock, the priest of Kindlers who married Beth and I.
I have been told I bring a balance and humor to Beth’s presentations. I guess it is my technical side and OCD nature that keeps Beth on focus. I made my 30-year marriage a study in what satisfies a woman. While it didn’t succeed with my first wife, I have been told I have developed an incredibly sensitive approach to touching others. Beth in turn worked with me through my issues with erectile dysfunction. And in the same spirit, it was my privilege to support Beth through breast cancer surgery, chemo, radiation and long term treatment with hormone suppressive drugs. Through all of this we have mastered the art of a very satisfying sexuality that goes way beyond hormones.
After being together for two years, we noticed several things. We enjoy introducing nubies to BDSM through a Sensation Station at Exploratoriums in various settings. Beth paired her massage training with my foot and touch fetishes and taught me how to offer a truly sensual foot or full body massage. It became obvious that we had knowledge and skills that we wanted to share with other people. Together as a team we have been offering a wide range of workshops in many areas and through various venues. These workshops have been well received and we are constantly producing new and different workshops to meet needs as we find them or at specific requests from people who have taken our workshops. We hope you find what we do interesting, as we would also like to meet you. Life for me has come full circle and has a new a fuller meaning than at any other time in my life.